February 26, 2023 – First Sunday in Lent
Our culture tries to convince us that perfection is possible if we just try a little harder. We can have it all if we just master our mornings or reach that elusive inbox zero. We’ll feel better if we take that pilates class or start juicing. Our families will be happier if we read this book or go on that vacation. But what if things are not getting better… no matter how hard we try?
What if perfection isn’t just unattainable… it’s not even possible? We may have drunk deeply from the myth that our lives are perfectible, but here’s the truth: You are never going to be perfect. You will never have the perfect life, perfect marriage, perfect career—no matter how hard you work at it. We are just one of many in a long line of imperfect yet deeply loved children of God.
If you’ve been following in our daily Lenten resources in Bless the Lent we Actually Have, you’ve probably caught on by now that Kate Bowler, the writer, thinks that our society puts too much pressure on us to achieve. One of the interviews she has is with Elizabeth Gilbert, who wrote EAT PRAY LOVE, a memoir about her journey looking for solace after a difficult divorce. She talked a lot about creativity in the interview, and I wanted to relate a part of what she said, as I think it fits right into today’s reading from Matthew:
“[We have to have] a purposeful life. So this is the formula that we’ve all been fed and we’ve been fed it our entire lives. You’ve heard it in every commencement speech. You’ve heard it in every inspirational speech. And it’s: each of you is born with a special gift. Each of you has one unique offering. That’s why you were sent here. To find what that is. The one thing that you can do that literally nobody else can do. It’s your job in life, your purpose to uncover what that thing is. And then once you find it, you must foster it and master it and curator until you are at the top of that thing that only you can do. And then you must monetize it. Because if you don’t monetize it, you’re not really successful at it. It’s just a hobby. You must monetize it, but it’s not enough to monetize it and be very successful at it. You must be an opportunity creator for other people within this purpose that you created, so that you bring other people who uplift other people with your purpose. And it’s not enough that you uplift other people and you monetize it. You must leave a legacy. You must leave a legacy so that when you are gone, generations after you’re gone, the world is a changed place because you were here. No pressure, but that is literally what you have been taught.”
At its core, the vain labor of perfectionism is an attempt to manage our pain, shame, and fear based upon this cultural myth that Elizabeth recounts. The temptation of perfectionism is similar to the temptation that Jesus encountered in the desert. If you never want to feel pain, then turn this stone into bread so your body never feels broken. If you never want to experience shame, then control the world with political power (because that always works out for politicians). If you never want to experience fear, then call upon the angels to wrap you in bubble wrap and stay far from the ledge. All you have to do is manage all risk and control everyone and everything in the world. Easy, right?
Yet the illusion of perfection is so tempting. After all, the tempter essentially tells Jesus, “you deserve better than the hand God has dealt you—wandering alone, hungry, powerless in the desert.”
When we are stuck in lives we didn’t pick, stuck in bodies that break for no reason we can easily discern, stuck with grief we can’t move past, we can begin to believe that if we just try harder, then things will be better. But Lent is the season of repentance—a chance to acknowledge our limitations, our humanity, our failures, our sins, and recognize our utter dependence on God for our every breath.
Jesus grows tired of the tempter’s deceit and declares that he has chosen to trust God instead, telling the tempter to hit the road. In that moment, Jesus knows who he is and who God is. One of the true blessings of imperfection is knowing our limitations and better seeing our need for God’s grace and interdependence.
But there is an often-ignored verse that shows us what happened after Jesus rebuked the tempter. In Matthew 4:11, Jesus was sent angels to attend to him in his weariness, to comfort him in his loneliness and pain (YES, Jesus felt all of these things too). God did not leave his beloved child to figure it out on his own—God sent angels to comfort and care for Jesus. And did you notice the most important part of this test was that once Jesus overcame the temptation, Jesus accepted God’s love and help. Maybe we can learn to do this too in this way we allow God to bless us through our imperfection.